Hey Bloggers! So I'm not a fan of forced things....so let me know what you think..
So I know that femme's like commitment, but what about just having a good thing?
Some of you may be reading this like "WHAT?...No...I need a commitment honey"...Do you really. Can you really handle the commitment?
Some of you may be able to to handle it, but commitment isn't for everyone.
I had this conversation with a couple of my girl friens and they felt that without a commitment, he's not being foreal or 100%...or that he's playing games. To alot of men and women a commitment is a TITLE and just that. Is that what commitment really is???? NOT!
You can have the title of being his girl or her man, but he or she still may not be committed.
What do I say...I say like my girl Janice said...Have that uncomfy convo of where you guys are going to stand.....In the BEGINNING!...I don't know about you, but this convo for me prevents alot of unessessary feelings. I like the aspect of A GOOD THING....I'm young and single...and a good thing is cool for me...what alot of people don't realize with a good thing is that once you've had that uncomfy convo and the two of you are on the same page, Everything is ALL gravy! MMM! and that's good with a warm buscuit...if you know what i mean..lolol!
I'm down for commitment if we're both on the same page, but if not...i'm sticking to A GOOD THING.Question:What if they're already giving you 100% and you guys aren't/haven't talked about a commitment?
(Ladies, If you've never experienced this...open your eye to a new way of thinking and get you some male friends that are JUST male friends...keep those legs closed...Oh and stay away from the liquor around these friends...bad things will happen if you don't..lol)
Also no commitment doesn't necessarily mean games. Sometimes a commitment can be forced. As a femme I know we sometimes force them and forcing commitment can backfire. This person you're really diggin may very well be the person for you....you'll end up missin out on having them in your life because you FORCED commitment on the. We say.." If you're not ready for a commitemnt, then keep it moing.." They...or the two of you potential people may need that time to grow...and that "100% /COMMITMENT" will develope.
Just think about it.....
There are alot of situations that we face in relationships where we give up, are confused, think we've made the right decision, or listen to that friend that has NO clue what they're talking about(can't keep a man/women because they're so freakin self-sabotaged((I don't belive that's even a word, but we're going to go with that) and if we allow ourselves to hear his side, or just see things in a diff light...we can save ourselves from alot of heartache.
I'll leave it at this for now for you gus to ponder on....Leave some feed back and Remember....Love, Live...and Have a Great day!
RIGHT UP MY ALLEY HUN BUN!
ReplyDeleteI am one the NEEDs a committment...Why? a good thing is great... no strings no loops... just the good stuff... but problem is (especially in my life style) your not the only Good thing that person is "NOT BEING GOOD" with. No matter what any one says... over time you catch feelings and when feelings come other things like protections, and honesty leave..."The Good Thing" STD...
Now true enough you can get it from that good ole commitment as well but the change is a bit slimmer.
I think ppl need to take a little more responsibility with their decisions... No one want the label of being a hoe, or slut, any of that, but its that "Good thing that is causing it"
My MOMMMA always said..."just cuz its GOOD to ya, dont mean its GOOD faya"
LOL...Gotta Love your mama...Whelp...that's why i have exclusive good things...If you so decide to kick it with someone else, We should've already established the understanding that We'll communicate that with each other..That gives the other person the option of whether or not they want to continue in this "Good thing" with you...
ReplyDeleteOK but isn't that TECHNICALLY a commitment?
ReplyDeletelike the decision to "Exclusive" is committing to not stepping ourside! granted there is still not relational commitment but a commitment non the less... and if the person you are having this good thing with... step aside from those set boundaries... that good thing will end.. AM I RIGHT?
Hun bun, you have a point. The Good thing only ends depending on what you are comfortable with. You know there are ppl out there that have atleast 5 ppl that they kick it with, but that have that 1 main person that they have their "Good thing" with. They might want that person, but isn't in the mind state to settle down...They haven't gotten everything out of there system....don't force it...Now i'm not saying wait on this person to get it together...but what will be will be. If you feelin this person...there's no need to eliminate them from your life.
ReplyDeleteOk, maybe I'm old fashioned. If we're just dating, we doing just that. Whatever we do is our business because we're "just dating." Now, I have found that the more I say "we're friends, and I'm not looking for commitment", the more men want to try to POSSESS what they can't have. For those, I kick to the curb, quickly! If we have decided that we are "friends with benefits", then it's just that. I prefer a relationship because that is the natural progression of things, for those that want it. We are human, and you may think you don't have feelings for someone, but they are there. Ok! LOVE your blog, and enuf of my rant! Peace!
ReplyDeleteI like the way you think....
ReplyDelete